


Everything is Awesome

by gluupor



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Gen, Not to be taken seriously, Ridiculousness, The LEGO Movie - Freeform, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-29 01:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15061937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gluupor/pseuds/gluupor
Summary: A completely unnecessary Lego Movie AU, where Neil is the reluctant Chosen One, Kevin is jealous, and Andrew is Batman.





	Everything is Awesome

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I worry about my brain. Anyway, this is highly ridiculous. While reading, please keep in mind that everyone in this story is a Lego minifig.

 

> _One day, a talented lass or fellow,_
> 
> _A Special one with face of yellow,_
> 
> _Will make the Piece of Resistance found_
> 
> _From its hiding refuge underground._
> 
> _With a noble army at the helm,_
> 
> _This Master Builder will thwart the Kragle and save the realm,_
> 
> _And be the greatest, most interesting, most important person of all times._
> 
> _All this is true, because it rhymes._

 

Neil was having the _worst_ day. The worst week, even. And it was all Kevin Day's fault.

* * *

It had all started… when _had_ it started? With all the world-hopping he'd been doing Neil had lost track of time. Was it three days? That sounded about right.

It had all started three days ago. Neil had just finished up his work day. It had been completely average. He had woken up that morning at his regular time, eaten his regular breakfast, done his regular morning exercise, dressed in his regular work clothes, and gone to his regular construction job. Everything had been as it should have been: normal, average, mundane, unexceptional. It had been exactly what he'd promised his mother as she lay dying: that he'd blend in, be unnoticeable, be boring. Unremarkable people weren't easily found, after all. Unremarkable people were safe.

Then everything had gone to hell. He had been late leaving his work site, and he'd heard a suspicious noise. Investigating - despite his better judgment - he'd caught sight of a figure dressed all in black, with a uniquely identifying tattoo on his left cheek (there couldn't be two guys in the world who'd thought getting the number 2 tattooed on their face was a good idea, could there?). He'd immediately tried to leave as he had no interest in getting mixed up with whatever had brought Kevin Day to Bricksburg.

("Wait," called Kevin. "You look vaguely familiar."

"Nope," replied Neil. "I've just got one of those normal, ordinary, yellow faces.")

Somehow, he'd managed to lose his footing and slip, falling forward and breaking through the loose boards on the ground, tumbling into the abandoned subway tunnel beneath them. He had surveyed his surroundings and had seen a strange glowing object.

("No," he told himself sternly. "Go home. You're missing tonight's episode of 'Where are my pants?'. Don't touch the glowing object.")

His mother had tried to cure him of his curiosity as well as his sense of mischief and his ability to be bored, but despite her numerous heavy-handed lessons he'd never been able to change those facets of his personality. She would be so mad if she knew he was touching weird rectangular, red items that he found underground.

As soon as he'd made contact, he had experienced a confusing vision and had fallen unconscious.

* * *

He had woken in a police interrogation room where he'd tried to convince the angry French cop that he was a nobody.

("I don't know what's going on," he said.

"Oh?" asked the cop. "You know nothing about the Prophecy? About the Piece of Resistance?"

"No," said Neil, which was true. He'd never heard of a prophecy.

"Your lies are weak, Special," said the cop. "Did it somehow escape your notice that the Piece is _permanently attached to you_?"

Which was when Neil noticed that the strange red object he'd seen in the subway tunnel was attached to his back.)

Kevin had showed up shortly after that to save him from being melted by a laser. Neil had decided that going with Kevin was (barely) better than being murdered by the police, and had escaped with him on a motorcycle.

("I'm Wildstyle," said Kevin.

"Wildstyle?" repeated Neil dumbly.

"Yes," said Kevin defensively.

"Are you a DJ?" asked Neil.

"What? No. It's my name."

"Is it?" said Neil, feeling on the verge of hysteria. "Your birth certificate says 'Wildstyle'?")

They'd evaded the police and escaped through a portal, landing in the Old West. Kevin had then proceeded to explain what was going on.

("You're the Special," he said. "The prophecy said that whoever found the Piece of Resistance would be the greatest, most interesting, most important person in the world."

"I most certainly am not," said Neil. "I'm average, ordinary. I can't build anything without the instructions. Whoever you are looking for, I'm not him."

Kevin wheeled on him, a savage look in his eyes. "I would give anything for you not to be the Special," he spat. "I have been looking for the Piece of Resistance for years. My mother was one of the first Master Builders. It should be me! I could _easily_ be the greatest, most interesting, most important person in the world. I was so close, but you came out of nowhere and stole my prize. I am not about to let you take what I want and not be appreciative. So you're going to shut up and come with me and save the goddamn world from the Kragle."

"Not asking for a lot, are you?" said Neil dryly.)

Kevin had gone on to say that they were in the Old West to visit his mentor, Wymack, who could be found in the nearby saloon. He had then stolen a couple ponchos to disguise them.

("Blend in," he commanded, before he proceeded to walk into the saloon and say loudly, "Howdy. I am a cowboy. You can tell because of my authentic cowboy hat, which marks me as a cowboy.")

Kevin had approached the blind piano player. Neil had stayed just in eavesdropping distance and pretended to be a stool as Kevin had gotten Wymack's attention.

("Kevin? Is that you?"

"That's not my name," hissed Kevin.

"Oh, right, you decided your name was too boring," said Wymack. "What did you change it to, again? Grimsparkle? Snazzlepants? Ebony Darkness?"

"It's Wildstyle," said Kevin sounding pained.

"Are you a DJ now?")

They had retreated to the top floor of the saloon where Kevin had attempted to convince Wymack that Neil was the Special, and Neil had attempted to convince him that he was not. Their argument had been interrupted by the sudden appearance of Bricksburg's police force. They'd managed to escape in a wagon that Kevin had constructed from their surroundings.

("Head towards the large bright circle in the sky," Wymack instructed Neil, who was driving.

"You mean the sun?" Neil asked.)

They'd then collided with a train and, through a series of unlikely events, had ended up cornered by the French cop on top of it. It had seemed like they were out of options, but a bat-shaped plane had dropped out of the sky and picked them up. A man dressed all in black and wearing a cowl with bat-ears had been flying the plane.

("Andrew-" Kevin started to say.

"I'm Batman," the man corrected, and then gave Neil a slow, appreciative once over. "You seem interesting. You can call me Andrew."

"Andrew-" Kevin tried again.

Andrew pointed at him. " _You_ can call me Batman.")

Andrew had proceeded to drown out what Kevin had been trying to say by turning up the volume of the stereo.

(It sounded like instruments being destroyed by a chainsaw, accompanied by a bassline that liquefied Neil's insides. There were also occasional lyrics, "Darkness… no parents…"

"I wrote and recorded this song," Andrew told Neil, shouting to be heard. "It's about my terrible childhood."

"I wish I was deaf instead of blind," said Wymack wistfully.)

They had flown into the sun, which had turned out to be another portal, and they'd ended up in Middle Zealand. Andrew had transformed his batplane into a batmobile.

("We've got to head to Cloud Cuckoo Land," said Wymack. "The other Master Builders have gathered there."

"That place is hell," said Andrew.

"Head to the rainbow and drive up the curved part," said Wymack, ignoring Andrew's input.)

Cloud Cuckoo Land had been an overwhelming place of bright colours and happy music. Neil had understood Andrew's hatred of it instantly. They'd been met by Princess Allison Unikitty.

("Welcome to Cloud Cuckoo Land, where there are no rules!" she said happily. "There's also no governments, no bedtimes, no sadness, no fighting, and no negativity!"

"You just said no, like, a thousand times," muttered Kevin.

"There's also no being a little bitch," Allison said pointedly.)

She'd led them to a giant dog's head, where the gathering of Master Builders had been already underway. Most of the Master Builders had been rightfully skeptical about Neil's status as the Special and unimpressed with him, but several had taken to him immediately.

("Hi!" said a tall, dark-skinned man in red and blue spandex. "I'm Superman, but my real name is Matt! This is my girlfriend, Wonder Woman!"

"Dan," she introduced herself. "It's great to meet you, Special."

Neil was saved from having to say anything by a man in a blue space suit showing up. "Hey! I'm Nicholas, but you can call me Nicky! I love space! I can build you a spaceship!")

The meeting had been derailed by Bricksburg's police showing up yet again, this time in flying police cars.

("How do they keep finding us?" asked Kevin in exasperation.

"Did you sweep the Special for a tracker when you rescued him from police custody?" asked Wymack.

"...No," said Kevin reluctantly.

"You are so disappointing on so many levels," said Andrew.)

The tracker attached to Neil had been found and destroyed. In the meantime, both Andrew's batmobile and Dan's invisible jet had been demolished by the attacking police ships.

("Dang it," they swore.)

Dan and Matt had sent the rest of them ahead, while the two of them tried to stall the police, giving them some time to try to escape.

("Protect the Special!" cried Matt as he got encased in a sticky, pink substance.

"I'm not the Special," argued Neil.

"Yes, you are," said Kevin. "You're the greatest, most interesting, most important person in the world."

"I'm really not-" started Neil.

"You _are_ pretty interesting," interrupted Andrew.

Neil could feel himself blushing. "If you say so," he said.)

They had dodged the police's attempts to capture them, but they had needed to acquire a vehicle in order to escape.

("I know!" said Nicky jubilantly. "I'll build you a spaceship!" He started humming excitedly.

"Don't be stupid," said Kevin harshly. "The entire sky is full of ships. We'll never get out that way."

"That's okay," said Nicky sulkily. "I didn't really want to build a spaceship, anyway."

"What about a submarine?" asked Neil.

"A _bat_ submarine," added Andrew.

"With rainbows!" said Allison.

"And a bar," said Kevin.

"Like an underwater spaceship!" cried Nicky in happy hysteria.)

Neil hadn't used any of his nascent Master Builder skills since his mother had taken him and run away from his father's house. In fact, the last time he had built something without the instructions had been as a child, with Kevin. They'd spent the day playing together, building whatever they could imagine. It had all come crashing down when Neil's father and Kevin's guardian had found them: they had both been close advisors to President Business and didn't want their sons engaged in frivolous pursuits. Neil and Kevin's creations had been destroyed and they'd been harshly punished. Neil's mother had escaped with Neil that very evening.

Neil had been completely out of his depth as the Master Builders more or less worked together to build a submarine.

("I need blue razzleberry and sour apple coloured pieces," called Allison.

"If anyone has black parts, give them to me," said Andrew. "I only work in black. And sometimes very, very dark grey."

"I have wings and stabilizers…" said Nicky.

"Get out of my way," said Kevin, pushing Nicky aside. "I'm working here."

"Does anyone need this?" asked Neil, holding up an L-shaped piece.)

They had somehow managed to finish constructing the submarine just as the police had destroyed the stabilizers of Cloud Cuckoo Land. The entire city had started falling into the ocean just as the submarine hit the waves. Allison had watched out the porthole as the remnants of her home sank past them.

(She squared her shoulders. "Do they think this could break me? Well, screw them! I'll build a new home! Hell, I'll build two. With twice as many rainbows and clouds and _even fewer rules_.")

Unfortunately, their rushed building job had been sub-par, and water started leaking into their submarine. They'd managed to survive the implosion, but had ended up helplessly bobbing on debris in the ocean.

("Welp we're dead," said Andrew in resignation.

"You could try some positivity," offered Wymack.

"It's not like a boat is about to appear and rescue us," said Kevin, just as a pirate ship appeared from the mist and proceeded to rescue them. "Oh, COME ON!")

A ladder had been lowered and they'd climbed up to the deck of the ship. A woman with white hair and an eye-patch had brandished a cutlass at them.

("I am Captain Renee No-Beard," she said.

Allison scoffed. "You're a lesbian with a fake boyfriend, Renee. You have a beard."

"He's not my boyfriend."

"You two know each other?" asked Neil.

"No," said Allison sarcastically. "I talk to strangers like this."

"You kind of do," said Renee.)

She was also a Master Builder, who had been running late to the meeting because she and her crew had been performing surveillance on Lord Business' tower.

("The Kragle is kept on the infinitieth floor, behind numerous protections: a laser gate, sharks, laser sharks, a robot army, and many other strange artifacts. All the captured Master Builders are held in a room called the Think Tank, where their knowledge about building is sucked out of them by force in order to make instructions for the sheep-like masses."

"We have to stop Riko before he can deploy the Kragle!" said Kevin.

"Riko?" asked Neil.

"Lord Ichirou Business' younger brother," said Kevin. "We used to be friends. It's a long story."

"He was abusive and tried to kill you when someone said you were better at building than he was," said Andrew. "It's really not that long.")

Renee had told them that there was no way into the tower, that anything they could build to get them there would be instantly recognized and destroyed. That was when Neil had had an idea.

The last thing that Master Builders would be expected to do was to follow the instructions. If they built the same type of ship that the robots used to bypass the laser gate, they could infiltrate the building.

("Allison and Andrew can go in as their alter-egos and pose as investors," said Wymack, warming to the plan.

"Alter-ego?" asked Andrew. "Do you mean that you want me to pretend to be Aaron?"

"What do you mean, pretend?" asked Kevin. " _Everybody_ knows that Gotham billionaire playboy Aaron Minyard is actually Batman. It's a very poorly kept secret."

"No he's not," said Andrew in a gravelly voice. "I'm Batman. He's my twin."

"There's two of you?" asked Allison in horror.)

The plan had been simple: once they were inside the tower Kevin and Neil would disguise themselves as robots and find the Kragle, Nicky and Renee would sneak into the control room, Wymack would find the Think Tank to free the Master Builders, and Allison and Andrew would distract the board of directors.

("Numbers, numbers, numbers," said Allison to the directors. "Business, business, business. Money, money, money." She leaned closer to one of the men. "Is this working?" she whispered.

"Yes," he answered. "We like hearing about money.")

It had seemed like they were going to be successful, Neil approaching the Kragle with the Piece of Resistance, hoping that there wasn't going to be an explosion.

("Just slide the Piece over the pointy part of the Kragle and you will neutralize its power," Wymack had instructed when they were going over their plan.

"And then it will explode," added Kevin.

"But not really, right?" asked Neil. "I'm not actually going to explode?"

"...Sure, sure, let's go with that," said Wymack.)

Before Neil had been able to destroy the Kragle, the French cop and a battalion of robots had appeared out of nowhere to capture him and Kevin.

("Jean!" yelled Kevin to the cop. "Why are you doing this? I know that you're a good cop, why are you helping Riko destroy the world?"

"You don't understand the power he has over me," replied Jean. "I'm nothing but a bad cop now.")

They, along with their allies, had been dragged before Riko, who towered above them in the large boots he wore to make himself taller. He had cackled in glee at catching them and had detached the Piece of Resistance from Neil's back, throwing it out of the tower into the abyss below. He had then launched into a monologue.

That was were Neil currently found himself: strapped to a battery, about to be electrocuted, his friends captured and restrained, listening to Riko talk about how great he was. He was having the _worst_ day and it was all Kevin's fault.

Riko looked down his nose at Neil. "You could _never_ be the Special, Nathaniel," he spat. "There is no one who could ever be greater, more interesting, or more important than _me_!"

Kevin gasped from where he was chained up. "Nathaniel?" he echoed. "I _knew_ I recognized you!" His brow wrinkled in confusion. "But then you were a Master Builder all along. Why did you deny it?"

Neil sent Kevin an incredulous look. "Because people who aren't special don't end up strapped to torture devices, Kevin! I just wanted to stay in Bricksburg, minding my own business."

"Speaking of business," said a silky smooth voice from the room's entrance. "Riko, what's this I hear about you kidnapping people and planning to end the world?" Lord Ichirou Business walked smoothly across the floor. "Ending the world would be extremely bad for business," he said. "And take off those boots, they're ridiculous."

"Yes, brother," said Riko sulkily, sinking back to his regular height.

"I've been so kind, letting you have free reign," sighed Ichirou, sounding put out. "And how have you repaid me? By making trouble and plotting to end the world." He walked until he was standing right in front of Riko, and then cupped Riko's face in his hands. "What am I going to do with you?" he tutted.

"Brother," said Riko brokenly.

Ichirou pushed forcefully, sending both Riko and the Kragle that he was holding out the recently broken window.

"Well, that problem just fixed itself," he said. "Robots, please free my citizens and allow them to return to their homes. I'm sure they will remember my kindness."

"Huh," said Allison as everyone was freed. "I wasn't expecting that."

"I, for one, enjoyed that deus ex machina," said Wymack.

"I guess everything worked out," said Matt.

"We _are_ still living under a totalitarian dictatorship," Renee pointed out.

"Shhh," said Allison. "That sounds like a problem for future us."

"Let's go home," said Dan. "Can someone build something so we can get out of here?"

Nicky gasped. "I can build a spaceship!"

"So are you headed back to Bricksburg?" Kevin asked Neil.

Neil watched as his new friends argued about how to properly construct a spaceship. He had survived for years by being boring and ordinary, but he'd never felt as alive as he had the last few days. He knew that he wasn't the Special, but maybe he didn't have to be. Maybe these people would like to get to know Neil. He could see if Andrew still found him interesting in the absence of a prophecy.

"Not just yet," he said. "I think I'll stick around for awhile."

"SPACESHIP!" shrieked Nicky.

**Author's Note:**

> I can be found on tumblr [@gluupor](http://gluupor.tumblr.com).


End file.
